”“She is not here right now,” I lied again, “But I know she will not like the idea. You know her nature mom. I am sorry mom; I will not be abl... to come this time. Perhaps next year…”“Do you remember, last year you promised me to visit this Christmas.” Mom’s voice was hoarse; perhaps she was crying. “Anyway, if you don’t want to be with your mom, it’s ok, I can’t force you.”I put the receiver back. But I was not happy. I loved my mother very deeply, and I wanted to be with her. The only. "Morning Paul," I grinned impishly, "and happy birthday." Yes, happy birthday Paul." Tom smiled, "And an apology, we've been so busy we didn't have time to get you anything." Don't worry about it dad," Paul smiled, even though I could sense some disappointment in him, "it has been a bit hectic of late."We settled down to breakfast as we girded our loins for the day ahead, our conversation light and breezy while outside the weather was dark and dreary. Promptly at nine the carpet fitters turned. But I couldn't stand to hear them through the paper-thin walls of our cheap house without knowing what was happening. It wasn't that it turned me on. In fact, it disgusted me to see my mother act that way. But for some reason I felt compelled to watch her debase herself. It made me hate her that much more.Why couldn't we have a normal life? Isn't that what every 14-year-old girl wants? I never knew my dad, but why couldn't my mother be like my friends' mothers? Why did I have to clean the house. Some people have a hard time wrapping their brains around the idea of a changeable gender because they see a natural definition of gender roles that seems rather inherent. However, I am not one who sees gender as either/or. I think that we all have a different combination of both male and female characteristics. Some people lean more to one or the other end of the spectrum but just because they perceive themselves that way does not mean that they are incapable of experiencing the other side of.
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