The truth was that even if I didn’t want to show it to them, I really was wondering about myself, and what I had become. I had killed men before but...at that point there really was no choice. Now I had justified my actions by saying that it was the only way of saving innocent people - and my family. But somewhere there, deep inside me, was the shadow of a doubt. Maybe I should just admit that I had become a cold-hearted killer.Suddenly I noticed in the mirror that Pam was awake, and was looking. The air was thick with it. A storm of change was crashing against us and what we had been, relentlessly ripping at it, breaking it, forever twisting it into something new and unknown.I was at war with myself and the implications of these changes. In the end, there was really only one way to respond, for better or worse and I knew it. I hardened my resolve and pushed forward.Taking in a deep breath I held it a moment and let it out in a sad sigh. Then, leaning forward across the table I reached. .',whatever! I was already thinking about how I should call my parents,how I should have called them much sooner. I looked at the phone a minute and wondered if I could do this or not.Lost was the thought lunch was on it's way or anything else Lisa toldme. I could procrastinate on calling them, but that was just going toget me in deeper trouble. I had an hour to spare, I could get this overwith pretty quick, right? I needed to at least check in with them, noquestion about that. Quick. I came just before the train departs. By that time, my reserved compartment was almost full. As always I had booked a window seat.When I reached my cabin, there were a couple with their 2 kids and another guy. He was sitting opposite seat to me in the window seat.As those kids were playing on the upper birth I had to put my bag under my seat. Journey began. Just glanced, that guy was a decent looking handsome guy. A while later he tried to have a conversation with me. He said “Hi”.I didn’t.
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