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Mind you, nothing ever happened in my infancy, at least nothing worth writing about. When I was three my parents were killed in the car accident and f...om then I lived with Uncle Tristram and Aunt Julia. They didn’t seem to understand children, had no idea of what I wanted and ... Oh dear! I’m off on a tangent again.There’s one reason why I’ve started this diary. It’s intended as a cure, hopefully to stop me talking to myself throughout the day. Following the death of Aunt J and more notably. She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went. ’ Sean said politely. ‘As soon as we take off we will make sure you get exactly what you want.’ Jenna replied. Sean thought he saw her give him a wink, but he wasn’t certain. Sean made his way to the conference table and sat in the chair facing the front of the cabin that had a window to look out of. As he was seating himself he felt the plane begin to move slowly forward. He sat down and looked out the window. The plane taxied onto the runway and then without a pause began to accelerate. She had changed into a floral spring dress. She slowly looked up at me with a pair of big blue eyes. The laundry dropped and so did her mouth. I was towering over her, at least a foot above her petite 5’3” stature. The laundry room light cast a beam of light that perfectly illuminated the enormous tent pole protruding from my thin sweat pants, casting a penis shadow that filled up most of the laundry room. Cassandra looked and her eyes grew even wider. “Oh... wow, you're in here, ” she said.
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