I have a very high sex drive so the decrease in sex has lead me to more masturbation. I knew she thought it was a gross thing to do and disapproved of...the porn, but I saw all of it as harmless. So what if I looked at a video once or twice a week and pleasured myself when she wasn't around? It was better than cheating!Up until this point, I had never been caught. I had considered the consequences before but I always saw it more as embarrassing than anything else. But the look in her eyes was. “Yes,” he said. “And Thanksgiving is still a ways off. I think I might send him a letter, or maybe you could. The look he gave me when I left the visitation hall—despair...” She was nodding.“Okay, you went up there and faced him. I guess I can at least write a letter begging his forgiveness and letting him know that we would like to visit him,” she said.“Yes, especially that; I mean the visiting thing,” he said. “That might get him to thinking that it would be good to have us come up if only so. Embarrassed, I blushed but continued speaking."It's unlike... it's unlike any feeling you will ever feel. I mean think about it. The emotions bombarding ya, You feel dirty, ashamed, used, betrayed, frightened, confused, or hurt. Or, all of 'em, 'cause so many emotions hit you at once. I think that with all those things coming at you... well it's too much to handle. Rape victims, well... quite honestly they face getting raped all over again each time they have to relive it... or tell someone,. I stared blankly for a few moments as I tried to get an idea of that much of anything. I finally gave up and turned back to look at Gretchen. "That's actually not as much of a problem for me as a million dollars. Two billion is so big that I can't get my mind around it. It's just not real. Let's just let things settle down and deal with the issues at hand, then."Gretchen took a deep breath and nodded. "That's probably best. So, where are we going while we wait for Mister Craig? His campaign.
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