Yet Ed didn't want to enjoy any sexual intercourse with a man, especially not with Malcolm, but given the few choices available for him he saw no othe... way. Like the missionary position, too close contact, some little pleasure and a considerable risk for plenty of pain now compared that with the safer and more distant joyride.If only Malcolm had been equipped normally, Ed thought, then he could have just laid there, feeling little more than disgust and kept his hate sharp. It's hard to hate. I was too sad to smoke the pot I had and cried most of the afternoon. I felt as though I made a fool out of myself, and I did. Just after 5 that night there was a knock on the door. It was the black cable guy. He came right into my apartment and was looking around in a strange way. ‘You gotta boyfriend?’ I shook my head no. He smiled and told me ‘We have a new program at the cable office called cock and pussy plan. You see if you suck my cock and I put it into your pussy you get cable. How. ..seeing you like this. It's so unpleasant. I wish I could bring him back. I wish there was a way I could... take your pain away. Even just for a moment." Oh Peter!" I gasp, completely taken aback by his words.I always knew Peter was a sensitive boy. His mother and father fought a lot as he was growing up and he would come over to spend time with James and I. He told us once that we gave him a feeling of home."Ms Gardner. Do I really remind you of him? Of James?"I sigh. "Yes." What is it about. I must’ve been an ass man that morning.Elsa welcomed me with a kiss and explained to the waitresses that this was the preferred greeting to breakfast in the household. Mel and the waitresses each kissed me in enticing ways, and then they moved on to the women I’d arrived with. Nils and the other waitress arrived behind us with similar welcomes. I wondered whether he’d kept the same partner for the entire party; she was cute and had ga-ga eyes for the older European hunk. I hoped we hadn’t.
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