Out of the corner of my eye I saw something. I glanced over. It was the next store neighbor, guy named Ed. He was looking at me curiously. I had seen ...im outside several times and we always said hi to each other. Now I just tuned him out. Praying for Frieda to hurry up and open the door. Finally it opened. I darted inside and turned around and saw Frieda wave at Ed. Wonder what he was thinking.Frieda was more dressed up than usual. More make up, nice sexy teardrop dangling earrings. Very high. .. maybebecause of his current rock hero. But from everything that everyonetold her, Mark was a very good guitar player. She just couldn't tellbecause all she heard was loud noise coming out of the amplifier in hisroom when he played.Yes, there was no doubt about it, despite his build and delicatefeatures, Mark was definitely all boy! And so was Kelly! But that waswhere that little similarity ended!Kelly had always been a tomboy. And Janice guessed that she still was. Growing up, she had. Wheres Katie he asked. She out back sun-bathing. Lana replied. Bob just smiled and said I just go and say good night, then we can get on our way. From where I was sitting I had a clear line of sight out to the yard where Katie was laying on her back in what was left of the afternoon sun. Lana left the room to go and check her make-up one last time. I watched through the sliding glass door as Bob walked up to Katie and Katie get up when he got close. She ran to him and jumped up into his arms,. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone.
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