I wanted to get away. Then a problem arose. My parents'enrolled us all on a course.I had to attend as Maria as my changes had become hard to hide.So I...was sitting there thinking of Terri. Thinking that Terri waswaiting and I was not there. My mother noticed my agitation andquestioned me. I told her what I felt. But I felt like I'd lied.I wrote a letter explaining the problem and hoping Terri wouldunderstand.Each day I looked in the mirror, each day my breasts seemed a littlelarger or a little. Wendy thought me having a dick made it not gay for us to have sex even though it was clear she was a closet lesbian.The mental gymnastics were fascinating. I wanted to help Wendy embrace herself. I understood. My sexuality had swung radically two days ago. I lost all desire for boys and just wanted all the girls I could. Especially if I could share them with Allie.She was my first. The one I loved the most. The one I couldn’t tell the world about.Mom and I made chit-chat on the short ride. No hard feelings, but it just didn’t seem like a good use of time, especially since I was only ‘mildly’ attracted to her. It was probably 10:30 at night when I got home, so I hopped on AOL. I usually looked at local members’ profiles who were online at the time and send IM’s, but this time I went into a public chatroom for singles in my town and boldly wrote, ൟ m just back from lousy blind date looking to meet more fun f tonight.’ Of course, publicly, I got ribbed a lot, but sure enough. I had no idea how experienced she was orwhat she knew about men and sex. 16 is a nebulous age; some girls haveeven had sex by then. Others have barely thought about it. Kelli's room was dimly lit from a desk lamp in one corner. Like therest of the house, her room was a dishevelled mess, though she had leftno clothing on the floor as her brother had. Mostly there were stuffeda****ls and magazines everywhere. Kelli was sitting in a window seatand staring outside when I came into her room. When.
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