Even then, you had your doubts.”“I had my doubts about everyone at that point, except Jennifer,” I said. “That was all before the Becky incide...t. And before Jennifer decided to go to Stanford.”“I suppose that’s true, though if you had doubts about me, and you loved Bethany, why ask me to go steady?”“I was such a mess back then that I can’t even begin to explain why I did what I did,” I said. “I knew I was a mess, but I didn’t realize how much of a mess I was. The Becky incident pretty much. It was a long day for me and I was having a drink at the bar before going home for sleep. I turned when she asked ," have you had a long day ?: yes , we made small talk as she ordered drinks for party, I told her I lived close by , Later she slipped up to the bar as I was leaving and gave me her number and smiled, saying: I wouldn't do this but,call me" drive careful I said , she said she lived just around the corner, hmmmmmm name was C . It was a cold day at the office and I was. Suddenly he stumbled on a raised joint in the sidewalk and he woke up. Till now he had been wandering almost in trance. He noticed that he was carrying something in his hand and he lifted it so he could see it. It was a long, sharp pair of scissors. How he had got his jacket on with them in his hand he couldn't understand. Obviously he had managed. Again he shuddered, this time not from the cold, but from the memories. He looked around for somewhere to throw them away and saw the storm drain.. But I just really need THIS sort of sex. Okay? Do you understand that?" I do understand," I said."Because I'm going to start seeing Duane on a more regular basis from now on. Perhaps every week. I just want you to know that." Okay," I replied. "I understand, babe. I do! I get that. I really do." So, your not angry with me? Or with Duane?" I'm not angry at anyone," I replied, feeling strangely...exhilarated to hear myself saying that to her; and yet it was essentially true! Then I added: "I want.
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