"I certainly never meant to lead you onin anyway. I should?ve given you a clear no right when you first madeyour offer."In the wake of that apology, ...af?s confident air melted away, replaced bya look of befuddlement. "What? You paid twenty-five bucks just toapologize to me?" Mmhmm," I hummed in confirmation.That answer earned a couple of blinks from the boy before he narrowed hiseyes suspiciously. "It?s not gonna get me to help you or anything." I wouldn?t expect it to," I told him. "I. I would be available for a visitation every time either Emily or Teresa called me, but would not make any plans on my own. I just wanted my four days in a month with Teresa. As time went by, my visitations with Teresa were down to one day a month and in the last four years I have seen her about 8 times in all. I stopped paying child support when Teresa turned 18. I did not have to stop it but I just knew that Teresa was interested in a relationship with me either. She was her mother's daughter. It was fair to say that my condition did not lend itself to fighting.All thoughts were brushed aside as I touched bare flesh. The initial landing spot was inner cheek then damp crotch. My inhibitions at an all time low as various chemicals affected my judgement I pressed on hoping to feel a lip either side of my finger through the damp underwear.For those of you who have read my previous posts my writing is pretty focused on reality not the fantasies people try to pass off as real but are. A dozen times a day I told myself that it was crazy and that I wouldn't go through with it, but I knew that when the time came, I wouldn't be able to help myself.The day came. All morning I felt a great nervous tension within my mind and body.My husband is involved in sporting activities, and at about eleven in the morning, he went off. Left alone, and with the specified time approaching, I was now filled with tremendous excitement. Still I kept telling myself that it would be madness to go.
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