She wasn't trying to paint an image of anything, she was just placing her feelings down on the page, she was feeling primal urges, she was feeling..."... at this point our eyes meet and she looks down at my lips and then back up so we can maintain eye contact, and very softly she says, "...lust.", and leans in for a kiss.We start making out passionately and she has such soft and delicate lips, she starts gently rubbing her hand through my hair while the other is placed on my neck. My arm is now. So I cling to the things that remind me of her. I kept the house mostly as we had it before she died. Her car was basically mothballed until Maureen decided she wanted to drive it. I still come out to our spot on the beach and talk her as if she were right next to me, longing to hear her voice once again."I did it," I said aloud. "I know you didn't want me to, but I went to visit Maureen's dad. He's a good guy, sweetheart. He's going to love her, not like you and I love her, but because she's a. ‘ Kat, you don’t understand. I think… I think I’m in love with you.’ Shane said and he gave me a hug, which lasted for ages. When we broke it was ovbious what was going to happen. I knew it and so did Shane. We leaned our heads forward and began to kiss. This was perfect, so natural and right. When the kiss ended, and I was back in my bed at home, dreaming about what had just happened my phone beeped to signal a text. I picked it up and saw that it was from Shane. It said: had a gr8. Why had I accepted it? I could feel jealousy, anger, hurt and depression taking turns at me. I had given my wife away to our black neighbor. How could I ever reconcile that? Yes, Jen had been very clear that it was what she wanted to happen, although I couldn't understand that either. But still, why hadn't I just refused?While I waited for the coffee to be ready I had seen a folded note left on the table so I picked it up. Stepping outside with the coffee, I paused to read it. Sara had written.
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