There was no anger, no remorse on her face, just a smile & the way she played with my finger that suggested I can carry on. Since from where she sits ...s an open walkway from the front & empty cubicles on the right, 1 open kiss was enough to get my pulse racing. Engaged in chit chat to break the ice, asked her plans for the weekend & jokingly said let me know if you are free, she smiled back & tugged at my hand to come closer.Asked her if she was ticklish, she slyly asked why that question &. Avril,s neighbour Clyde seemed to be around even more than Jim, but Avril claimed he was just a good friend. Jim was loaded and they had a swimming pool in their rear garden in northwest London back in 1990, which they could use even in winter as it was enclosed in a sort of fibre glass cover which could be opened on a hot summer day. One Sunday when I was off she asked Sarah and I over for a swim. “Don,t have to bother with bathing suits if you like as I often skinny-dip or are you too. ’ ‘Oh.’ He frowned and she shut her mouth thinking perhaps that surprised oh was taken as an insult. ‘I’m nineteen.’ ‘I’m forty.’ ‘Oh same age as my… um… my flatmate.’ He looked bemused and asked had she forgotten her flatmate’s name and she said no of course not. She said pointedly, ‘You know my name.’ ‘I’m Mac McLaughlin.’ Jo thought it was like extracting water from stone but slowly she was getting somewhere. ‘What is your role in the Army?’ ‘I’m ex-Army. I was instructed to shoot naughty. It felt really nice to lay on the bed in them. Itwas lying in bed that I started thinking about my life. Why was I stillfighting how I really felt and who I am? I need to start living my reallife, my female life. I AM a woman in this body and I need to be my realself. I'm tired of faking and living a lie. I made my decision thatnight.The next morning was raining outside. I should have felt a little anxietyabout what I was about to do; but all I felt was freedom. I didn't haveany real.
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