1, full of compliments and telling Her how lovely I thought She was, and She sent back a lovely reply, and it blossomed from there. I couldn’t reall... identify the strength of my feelings for Her – the first time I’d ever felt like that – until I met Her for the first time. I was hopeless at that meeting but She was so lovely to me, and it was when I was walking away that I realised it was love – perv-love to be precise, but for a wanker and girl-worshipper like me, it was the real. God, he was stupid he thought. But Carl was right, there wasn't anyone whom he could do that with here anyway. He doesn't know what he could even say to Carl, because really there is nothing to say. 'Sorry you're still a virgin and there is no light at the end of the tunnel for you' wouldn't cut it. Any other platitudes would be just plain stupid. Carl would just as likely punch him and deservedly so. About the only thing he can do is start to send him on runs so he gets out and about, possibly. Two or three months he said. give it a try, so I agreed. That weekend Viv moved in, things went well he was helpful & quite funny. I felt a bit awkward at first because I always wore a short smock dress & when I was playing with James on the floor I showed a lot of leg & maybe knickers, but Viv joined in helping to play games with James & started getting on the floor to help. Well everything went well, then when John was on his week of nights something happened. It was Monday night John went to. I do not wish to steal from the man that provided me with a roof over my head all these years, but I need to look presentable if I am to audition at the opera. If I am not presentably dressed, how can I expect them to take me seriously? No! I cannot do this. The opera house shall have to judge me on the merit of my voice alone. I cannot take the Comtessa's dresses. I cannot steal, for that is how my actions will appear whether I leave a letter promising payment or not. I will not bring shame.
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