I can't be sure if my mother ever noticed or just didn't understand the signs. One would think that because I preferred to play Barbie with the neighb...rhood girls to baseballing, or whatever they call it, with the neighborhood boys would raise a red flag. I realized early in life that I was the 'odd' man out but had no idea that it was just because I didn't belong in the heterosexual world of our neighborhood.In my teen years, I was more asexual than anything else, I just didn't have the. I was going for the innocent schoolgirl look. i expected that i might be spanked, and wore white panties with blue flowers.It was a nice house in an upscale neighborhood. i didn't know anyone but Rachel. and i honestly didn't know her very well. Had a few drinks and wandered from room to room. Quite uncomfortable in truth because i felt out of place.Then Rachel escorted me into ?that room?. A guy was on all fours being whipped by a girl. i had found some of what I was looking for. . Even standing the lighted surroundings made it difficult for her to orient herself fully; and the size of the cavern made it seem even grander than her first impression. "My God, Car­los," she said, clinging to him. "'In Xanadu did Kublai Khan—'" '—a stately pleasure-dome decree, '" he finished the quotation. "Spectacular indeed, is it not?" You are Amanda," came the harsh voice she had heard from the passageway. The sound, so at odds with the soft rippling glow all around her, startled her out. She insisted on me being dressed quite a bit lately. I assumed it was a method of keeping her anger focused. If so, it seemed to be working. We sat at the kitchen table drinking tea in silence. The stranger we had solicited from Internet personal ad had left some hours ago. His good-byes were the last words anyone in the house had spoken.After considering the bottom of her teacup for quite some time - as if it were true one's future could be read in the leaves drifting aimlessly below.Connie.
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