"I'm not a girl! I'm not Michele; my name is Mike and I'm a businessman not a woman! And you are not Carmel; some kind of bawdyhouse Madam; as you lik... to pretend! You're Craig! A guy in a dress, pretending to be a girl! You're just a sad, pathetic, transvestite prostitute living in some made up dream world inside this prison!" I'm a big name outside!" I cried."A 'Face'! As you jailhouse scum are want to say! I have money, friends, influence" I cried.Carmel laughed out loud and slapped me hard. I guess somewhere in the process, the pain I felt got to be stronger than the disappointment I knew I'd have when I finally quit. I sat down on the court and refused to get back up."That's it for today. I'm done." I still want to practice."Practice by yourself then, I'm through for today." I'm not tired. You can play a little longer." Brenda, that's enough. If I get up again, it will only be to go over and call Hans. I'm not sure when I'll be able to do that. The only thing I learned today was. So the three of us decided I should be the one to tell you that it's okay." I understand. Thanks for talking to me. I was nervous because, uh, I don't know how to really feel about it, I guess. It really surprised me, what she said." "Just do what she said and treat her the same as always," he said, reaching across and patting my shoulder. "Remember you both are still only twelve and have a very long way to go."Gradually I pushed that conversation in the mudroom to the back of my mind and. "Just here for a little talk with Randy." I kept going onto the trailer and they continued on to a big pickup truck parked beside my car.I walked into the trailer right at 11. The place was a mess, papers laying in piles, book cases full of folders in disarray and a dented, grey file cabinet behind his desk. Old calendars with pin up girls decorated the walls.Randy was at his desk taking up the right end of the 10 foot wide trailer. Another desk was to the left and a dirty, tan leather couch.
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