On the other hand, you had with those few words made real something I had secretly ached for. Yes, oh yes, I wanted you. Wanted to make love to you, t... kiss and caress your tender young body, and make you a woman. If I reacted too dismissively, and you meant those words, I might destroy the possibility of realization.“Xiao-Li,” I said, “it moves me deeply that you should even think of giving me such a gift.” We said no more.I still knew no more of how serious you might be, or whether this was. I began focusing on the room instead of the girl and realized that I recognized it. When she stopped showing her tummy and sat back down in front of the computer, my suspicions were confirmed. It was my sister. She was only down the hall from me, in her room, and I was watching her on webcam.My sister Erin had only turned 18 a week ago, three years younger than me and still in high school. She had long dark brown hair and has always been super cute, with a shy smile and a bubbly look, and faint. "Hey you kids! What are you doing on my property?!"That he was carrying a shotgun in his hands was not lost on either of us!We made a mad dash for the fence. I recall getting through and glancing back. He was still coming and looked like he would just crash on through his gate.I'm shaking as I write this memory down. I can feel the terror and adrenaline of trying to get away from this crazy man.We dashed into another friend's garage. We both knew the family. We knew we had to get away.They were. I had a gender crisis and tried to reclaim my own masculinity.It was ultimately a mistake to run off to Africa and to marry a woman whomade it clear from the start that she was not prepared to give up herother lovers. Given that I was actually shorter than Heidi it was easyfor her to become the more powerful figure in the relationship and sether terms for our marriage. The fact that she required other lovers onlyreaffirmed the feeling of sexual deficiency that I already felt. Isurrendered to.
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