Can we... When can we see her?" Her doctor said that this afternoon we could take turns, one at a time, going in briefly." God! I've got to see her!" ...n a few hours, Paul. Come on, let's all leave this place -- just for a little while. They're not going to change their minds about our getting in there. We'll go and have lunch together -- somewhere away from here. When we come back, I'll make certain you'll be the first one in to see her." All right."True to his word, Raymond Silverthorn. ..." "I recall," he said, pressing a finger against me and sliding inside. "Oh!" He worked himself in and out of me. My breathing came faster. Then the finger withdrew and something much thicker pressed against me. Wet and thick and also oiled. "Please, Mr. Sterling...." His bare chest pressed against my back. "Do you remember how to stop me, Rachel?" His lips nipped at the back of my neck. It stole my breath for a moment. "Yes, Sir." "Would you like to?" "Very much, Sir." One slippery hand. I always figured she had to keep shy as to prevent any chance of letting that short temper show. Being generally shy she really couldn't do or say much other than keep in her general character. After a while he stumbled out of the room and everyone moved on quickly from the subject. We weren't so quick to move on.We both felt a mutual feeling of inadequacy. Like we were leading my family on by not explaining that we weren't actually all that wild in bed. I could have gone on to assure them that. For every girl like Jazz Jennings, there aredozens, maybe hundreds who arent as lucky.It can get pretty bad out there for trans folks. And even though Canadais better than some places in the world, doesnt mean there is no riskof really bad stuff happening to me.So there I was, between a rock and a hard place, too scared to try andbe a girl, too scared to even say that's what I wanted, yet knowing ifI didnt do something, and soon, I'd look less and less like a girl andtransitioning, assuming I.
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