Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The o...t-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in. The next weekend, was graduation. Our youngest clan members were getting their BAs. Dani completed her MA. And much to everyone's surprise, both Courtney and Brenda were receiving their PhDs! We had some damn smart women in this clan."So what does a woman actually do with a PhD in math?" I asked Brenda."Well, I'm going to follow through on my analysis of interesting ways to learn math," Brenda said. "Specifically, I want to compute the probability that I can employ the same study techniques to. "With that, Becky and Mark were gone. I turned to Jen with several questions on the tip of my tongue."Becky thinks Mark is going to ask her to the formal!" laughed Jen. "She sure didn't need me hanging around, getting in the way."That was all she had to say. I still remember how awkward and important all those high school social events were at the time. I nodded my understanding and settled back into my chair to finish my paper. Jen jumped into the pool and swam some laps.I was just reading. I’ll be in the living room after I pour a cup of coffee. Now move bitch.’ I got my head together and showered and dressed quickly. My husband was killed while I cheating on him and now my brother’s wife knew about it and quite possibly those two captains too. What was I going to tell the boys? Would Julie tell on me? My stomach lurched and I threw up in the bathroom sink. If anyone had seen those contents there would be no doubt what I had been swallowing all morning. I rinsed it all down the.
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