I was looking for the lo-cal blueberry syrup because my selection of well-pressed trousers was getting a mite tight around the waistline and I was sta...ting to feel sluggish and slow in the early morning hours.Of course, nobody that lived in Vegas, including yours truly, ever thought of silly concepts like the time of day or night because the place was never really a morning, noon or nighttime thing. I could be eating waffles at six AM or at midnight and never know the difference. I had started. Good, i thought.The next day I woke up to my mobile phone ringing. It was ten o’clock in the morning, but as I was on holiday, I was sleeping late. I answered the phone, half asleep: “hello?”“Salaam, it’s your auntie. Can you come around now? Your uncle has gone to the hospital for a check up and won’t be back before 1pm.”“Ok auntie, I’ll be there”. I jumped out of bed, barely believing what i had just heard. I didn’t even know how I had kept my cool when I replied to my aunt. I showered, got. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-birch asked “Oh Really? What did you teach?”This group is compliments of a Friend of J & G.A man dies ‘in the act’ after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large. It hadn’t taken all that long, and they finished before I got to the front office.I picked up their bags and said, “Let me show you where you are staying tonight so you can take a wash up, change clothes, and take care of any other business you need before we go see Pat.”When I got to the part of the facility where guests and families stayed, I saw that they matched the ones in the kid dorms. The parents had the chaperone’s room while the boys got one of the six individual bedroom and bathroom.
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