I have gone from a level of happiness and optimism to an immediate low when I found you were gone. Since then, my life has been building into one gian... turmoil. The promotion, the opportunity to move overseas, to expand the product line--I had no idea or even a hint that it had anything to do with you."She just smiled and sat quietly on the bar stool. I was standing, walking around, almost pacing back and forth in front of her as I allowed my emotions and thoughts to be expressed."You told me. It had only lasted for a few seconds before going away on its own. Several times I'd felt a tingling sensation in my hand and arm since, but no tremors had occurred."I don't think it quit, Mama, but it isn't as frequent or as severe as it used to be. I don't reach out for things as much as before, and I put my arm down anytime I think they might be going to start up." How do you know when they're going to start?" I don't know, I just do. It always happens when my arm is extended out away from. Shirley came out and I asked for her opinion. She looked around, saw a small clearing off to one side, and said, "That's a good spot if you can get in there."Dad looked and said, "It will be tight but we can do it."We dug a hole with the backhoe and then had the grisly task of getting the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Davidson out of their car. We used masks and mouthwash. We rolled them in a blanket and, with Dad taking one end and me the other, carried each one to the grave and, gently as we could,. "I'm not. I know I'm not. I don't get all A's in school and not everyone thinks I'm a great guy. I hope I can live up to everyone's expectations of me. I don't know what I'd do if I let the people down who count on me. It worries me," I admitted."Don't, Ian," Dad said, holding up his hand. "Don't start thinking that way. Just do what you do and everything will be fine. You've got the right instincts and you're a good person. That's enough. Don't go thinking you have to live up to some.
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